Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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