Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
This is my gift to your gina
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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