god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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