Quick, to the slutcave!
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
tonight lets celebrate not being married
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
