Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
