I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Randomize
