hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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