So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
