D3 body, D1 cock
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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