hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I AM VODKA MAN
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
