I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
