When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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