Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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