It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Randomize
