Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
