Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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