She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize