Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
