I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
