He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
