i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
that's an acceptable place to lick
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
