he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
