I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
