I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
