hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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