I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
