My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
