I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
