If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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