After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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