Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
