Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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