so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
