Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
