it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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