They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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