oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
