she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
