mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Damn victory sex feels great
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