dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Pants are for mortals
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
