So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I have tasted many bathrooms
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
