We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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