I want to have your abortion
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
