He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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