it was like his penis was on wheels.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
