I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
