Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
