He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
