a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i can't believe i had my finger in that
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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