why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
